Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Award for Most Humble Man Ever Goes To...

It’s award season again and I thought what better way to show the people that got me to where I am today then to publicly acknowledge their support with this awards ceremony-style thank you list. It’s said that thank you are the two most powerful words in the English language when said together. And I can think of no better way to show my gratitude than to put it here on the internet for the whole world to see. So without further ado, here is my thank you acceptance speech:
First of all, I feel that I need to thank God for giving me to my mother. Sure, had it not been for unprotected sex and booze there could be a chance that I wouldn’t be here but I believe He put things in motion that night and for that I am most grateful. Also, He gave me the ability to do what it is I do that has brought me here today so that I can be here to thank you for acknowledging my good work.
Next, I would like to extend a hearty thank you to my family- my Mom, my Dad, my Step-Mom, my brother, Andrew and his three boys: Zachary, Corey and Matthew. Without the love and support of them I wouldn’t be half the man I am today. Whether it is from my Mom’s support of everything I ever tried to my Dad’s love and strong work ethic that gives me the strength to not give in when things get rough. And as any of you know, this has been a tough year for me. So I appreciate him looking after me. My Step-Mom deserves to be recognized for her creativity and for sharing that side of her with me and helping me to excel in my craft. Andrew, you and your boys are the backbone to my skeleton. You have helped to build the better man that stands before you all basking in the accolades thrust upon him tonight.
I cannot forget my friends for their unparalleled sense of loyalty ready to stand by side while I ascend into the greater heights of fame and fortune. For these good souls are the foundations in which all my works are built and for everything I have accomplished, I thank you for your undying support. I know that they will be by my side through thick and thin, fame or infamy, riches or poverty and that makes them the best friends any man of my stature can have. That being said, I am sad to say that I will no longer be available to most of you because I will be far too busy after tonight with press and more projects. Not to mention, just counting my good fortunes that I will acquire after tonight. So, I guess this is also good-bye.
Where was I? Oh, yes, I remember. I guess I should also mention the ones that work for me and make it possible for me to do all the things I do. I’m sure I should mention them at least. It is the very least I can do. And also, all that I will do. Moving on…
I don’t want to forget the love of my life. Yes, because without you, my dear, I would surely still be the unknown amateur still waiting in the wings for his chance to shine in the spotlight. You give me love, strength, inspiration and devotion like no other soul on this world. And, no matter what I say here tonight, there is no way for me to repay you for the years of dedication you have given me. You have been there since the beginning driving me to succeed and to never give in when it all seemed to come crashing down around me. You were a flash of light in an otherwise dark world. You, my beautiful angel, had the programs that I needed to get the work done that I strived to create. You were the windows into my soul and mind, the apple of my eye and a true type of hero in my heart. When I needed you to be straight-forward, you weren’t PC and you went right for the impact that I needed. And I will never forget what you’ve done because it is a part of me-saved forever in my memory. You are a part of my history.
That being said, I am afraid that I must also say my farewells to you this evening for I have found another that will guide me through the next stage of my career. She will go where I go and be my notebook for me to write the story of my success upon. She will be available to me wherever I go; whereas you were only there for me when I was at home. So, I say good-bye and wish you the best of luck in finding a new love to spend your life with. My new love and I must go now and recharge our batteries somewhere else.
Last but not least, I want to thank my adoring fans. Without each of you, I would still be screaming at a world that wasn’t listening. Sharing my art without an audience. Void of the satisfaction that I receive in knowing that I have given you all so much joy and entertainment through the years. You keep coming back to me with eager eyes hoping for yet another work of genius and I, well, I never fail you. And I never will.
I hear the violins playing so I have to end this before they cut me off. Thanks again, all of you. And I hope that I can continue to give you years of satisfaction through my craft. God bless you and God bless the United States of America. Thank you and good night.

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